I’ve been thinking about what war and pandemic mean together as I’m working on my Porter essay, as well as thinking on my own personal experience with the pandemic. For me, much of 2020 is set to the soundtrack of Taylor Swift’s album, folklore. If you aren’t familiar with the album, I want to encourage you to listen to her song, epiphany. It explores the parallels between war and illness, and reminds me of our own conversations.
Keep your helmet, keep your life, son
Just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle
Crawling up the beaches now
“Sir, I think he’s bleeding out”
And some things you just can’t speak about
With you I serve, with you I fall down, down
Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out
Something med school did not cover
Someone’s daughter, someone’s mother
Holds your hand through plastic now
“Doc, I think she’s crashing out”
And some things you just can’t speak about
Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you’ve seen
With you I serve, with you I fall down, down (Down)
Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out, out
With you I serve (With you I serve), with you I fall down (Down), down (Down)
Watch you breathe in (Watch you breathe in), watch you breathing out (Out), out (Out)
Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany
Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you’ve seen
It also reminds me of the conversations we didn’t quite have. For those of you in the 12:30 section, I want you to recall Carleigh’s reaction when Professor Scanlon brought up March of 2020. And how Professor Scanlon apologized to her for even bringing it up. “Some things you just can’t speak about.” I find that at the end of this class, this song adds something valuable to my own modern interpretation of events not yet that outdated. Honestly, I could parse the ways this song relates to our class conversations for hours, but I’ll spare you that.
And now, because I’ve already namedropped Carleigh once in this post, I’m going to do it again. Sorry, Carleigh. She also mentioned in our final class today how her view of truth in literature has shifted, and how several of the works in this class have asked us whether objective truth is really more important than personal truth. To that end, I’d like to share with you part of the introduction to this album –
“A tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact. Myths, ghost stories, and fables. Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets written in the sky for all to behold.”
I don’t think it matters to me what was “true.” Pale Horse, Pale Rider is a work of fiction, but I think it is far more honest to Porter’s experience than if some omnipresent observer handed us a list of events in her life from before her experience with the flu through her recovery. Why should truth in that form be any more true than what Porter knows of her life?
Anyways, this post is my way of fighting off the urge to write about Taylor Swift in my Porter essay. Thanks for reading!
OHHHHH Kimber. You brought up March 2020 by saying that one should not bring it up. Shame. And yes. Personal truth and experience over facts and lists and removed accounts any day.
Similar to how you’ve decided not to feel burn out, I’ve decided not to feel shame 🙂
First of all, love the little reference you put in the tags there, Kimber. Your presentation in the Shakespeare class was awesome.
I absolutely agree with you on your point about personal truth. While some people tend to discount personal stories because there can be bias, but if someone has lived through a major event, their accounts of it can be just as important. And what you mentioned about how much “truth” a story needs rings, ironically, true as well. If a fictional story still recounts what the author lived through, then why does it matter that it’s a fictitious story?
1) Thank you!!!! :’)
2) Yes!!! That reminds me of this other quote (my brain is an endless receptacle for other people’s words), “People always talk like there’s a bright line between imagination and memory, but there isn’t, at least not for me. I remember what I’ve imagined and imagine what I remember.” I think it can be stretched to describe the “gap” between reality and fiction that you’re talking about!!
Honestly Kimber we should encourage everyone to listen to the whole Folklore album as it is truly a masterpiece. I also agree with Sonia ^^ that your presentation on Shakespeare was genius. Love the connection to Ms. Swift and Porter!!
Honestly Haley you’re always my target audience when I make an academic Taylor Swift reference, I’m glad it found you!!
You make a really good point! I can get on board with the Taylor Swift reference:), but your point about truth really made me reflect on my own way of interpreting fiction. I cannot tell you how many times I google “how much of __ is accurate” after finishing a “based on a true story” movie or book. The concerpt of personal truth being more important changes this perspective and makes me wonder how the answers I find change anything. The fictional story still exists in its narrative construct and therefore is real in its own way now. What does it matter how much of Remember the Titans is accurate if the story moves me to tears every time I watch it? This is, however, especially true when it comes to semi-autobiographical because if this is the story the author chooses to portray that is what matters to them and could tell us more than the actual facts of the story anyway. All the points above are really interesting!
ABSOLUTELY YES!!!! I always do the same and find it doesn’t change how I feel for the piece, which leaves me wondering if the answer mattered much at all. Other than for the simple fact that I am nosy and would like to know 🙂
Honestly? I’ve never thought of this, especially Taylor Swift no less in a comparison to Porter. Definitely an interesting perspective!
I know the blog is closed but I must say that “epiphany” has crossed my mind so many times during this class, especially during our discussions comparing the war to the pandemic. This song has a special place in my family’s hearts; the album came out a week or two after my grandpa died, and something in me told me to play this song for my family. My grandpa was in the Navy, albeit after WWII, but to me this song is his story.
In my Porter essay, I talked about it giving space to allow my experiences in the pandemic to be a tragedy instead of pushing forward, and I think this song does the same. It is a moment of breath, but not of relief. It is a breath of grief, a moment to pause and be sad and wallow because that is what you need more than any relief.